37 weeks

Yesterday was a very gratifying appointment. My physical therapist called my OB with my adductor measurements and now she is very comfortable with me having a vaginal delivery :)  Also the baby is finally in position to be delivered, He has been transverse or sideways every other time he's been checked, I am relieved things are coming together!

As far as my legs go, pain continues to escalate and I am less able to do things independently. I did stand up for the first time today, about 50 minutes ago, after hours of attempts, and was able to make it to the toilet. My legs were incredibly tight though and moving was very painful. I’ve decided to stay down until my husband is home from work, he will be able to loosen my muscles through massage and help me to bathe. It is very difficult for me to lose my independence like this, but it should only be temporary and bringing new life into the world often requires sacrifice.   

36 weeks 4 days

Monday was my 36 week appointment, I’ll be going in weekly now. If things are interesting I will blog after each appointment. For this post there is good news, bad news and good news again. The first bit of good news is that as of my appointment I was dilated to a “one” ooowe :)

Specific to CP

The bad news is though that my adductors (thigh muscles) apparently were tight and my OB was concerned that they would be to tight to allow the baby though. It is true though my legs were tighter that day than usual due to needing to go up and down stairs. She then asked me if I thought an epidural would loosen my muscles—I had no idea. Then we started to discuss having a C-section, not my favorite idea because I would like to be pregnant again before the recommended recovery time of 18-23 months. She wanted my adductors evaluated, so the next day I went into the physical therapy clinic to get everything measured. I avoided stairs prior to the appointment but avoided any other special preparation so the measurement would be accurate. The final good news is that the physical therapist’s report stated that he didn’t think I would have a problem opening my legs. He didn’t have an answer about the epidural but that’s okay, no one seems too.

Those of you that read the post concerning my birth plan know that an epidural isn’t my favorite idea because I am fairly prideful about my pain tolerance. I think I’m tougher than most and could cite dozens of reasons why—it’s a bit of a problem. I think though that I will take the epidural on the off chance that it will loosen my muscles and make birthing easier. Even if it doesn’t loosen muscles it may well help avoid additional constriction of my muscles that might be brought on by the inevitable pain. Since I really want to avoid a C-section I don’t want to have any regrets about what I could have done to (potentially) prevent it.

I should mention before I close this post that I am experiencing considerable pain in my hip, knee, and ankle joints. I feel like I’m ripping them apart every time I need to stand or walk up stairs, and I feel that I am crushing them in unnatural directions when I put weight on them. I hope that these things do not cause permanent damage, but what will be, will be.  I’m not scared at this point of another pregnancy, I definitely want to have at least two children. Like I said before siblinghood is very important to me. I however feel that it is necessary to be as honest as possible in expressing my experience. These last few weeks have been very hard on my body.     

30 weeks

Today’s appointment went well, I don’t have gestational diabetes and all my recent blood work looks great, wahoo :) I received my whooping cough vaccine today and it’s made me feel fairly sick so that is a bit of a downside for today. The baby has been very active for the last several weeks, it’s pretty exciting to watch my tummy bounce around like boiling water. He particularly responds to music, namely piano and harmonica music, so I’m assuming that I have a musician inside of me—given his daddy and that side of the family I wouldn’t be surprised at all, if it turns out to be true.  

Specific to CP

There have been some changes in this area. Number one, I’m back to physical therapy. Why? To appease my father-in-law. Apparently he works for a physical therapy office owned and operated by his brother. So, voila! I have free physical therapy, whether I need it or not. So, nothing to complain about.

But alas, I suddenly might need the therapy—I’ve been pushing myself too hard this last week and I’ve hurt my left hip. It hurts to lay down, it hurts to stand,walk, bend, lift…it hurts pretty much to move. Oh, and sitting to long causes my feet to swell up and hurt. So essentially I’m very uncomfortable. But hey! When I go to my physical therapy appointment tomorrow we will have a project to work on. 

20 weeks

Wahoo! I’ve hit the halfway point! Just to let you know, the pregnancy is going well, the baby’s development is right on track and if it weren’t for CP I don’t think I’d have any complaints.

Specific to CP

Starting 2 or 3 weeks ago I started having some problems with my ankles giving out and increased lower leg pain. I discussed this with my doctor at my last appointment and she suggested starting physical therapy, an idea I was very in favor of. She wrote me a prescription for an associated office and my first appointment was yesterday.

I really miss the days of receiving physical therapy services at the hospital where I had my surgeries and receiving specialized cerebral palsy care. Now I have to sit and explain my surgeries and spasticity to people with eyes popping out of their heads. “Yes I am sure that I am an interesting case to you.” I cannot complain to much though, I really feel that I received the care and recommendations that I desired.

The biggest obstacle I face now is the cost of the therapy. Ever since leaving the office I’ve been trying to wrap my head around it and find solutions. I’m forced to analyze my need verses my pocketbook—I’m wishing now that I hadn’t made a complaint until week 30 or perhaps I should make physical therapy priority during my postpartum rehabilitation and simply opt-out of it for the duration of my pregnancy. All of these thoughts also spark thoughts of my middle and late adulthood and how find to affordable care for that time of my life.

No, I am not “pining” over this issue I’m sure that my husband and I can find the right solution, I’ve always been able to take care of my body. I am thinking that I will take and use the information from the PT, then opt for a gym membership where I could have access occasionally to personal trainers for the duration of my pregnancy. (The gym has always served me well.) Then start physical therapy again after my child is born and physically I am at a very low point.

I can imagine medical professionals shaking their heads at me and other persons with cerebral palsy nodding (I know others have made similar choices.) Please understand that I am not complaining, making a statement on the country’s health care, or asking anything from anyone. I am writing my reflections here, because if you or someone you love is a woman with spastic diplegic cerebral palsy considering pregnancy this is something you will likely need to think about too. I will keep you updated on my choices on this subject.