3 months postpartum

It sure has been a busy 3 months! It’s been difficult to find time to write, I had intended on writing earlier but life can move by so quickly. I’m doing really well and so is Junior, he is such a big strong boy I am amazed everyday at his development. A week ago today he rolled over for the first time tummy- to-back to the right and two days later he did it to the left. I’m so proud of him. I could go on and on about milestones but I’ll stop.

Specific to CP

Since so much has changed in the last 3 months I’ll try to break it down:

1-2 weeks postpartum

This was  the  most challenging period for me, getting up and down on my own was very difficult for me and carrying the baby more than a few steps scared me because I was so unstable. Luckily, Junior was born while my husband was having winter holiday  from work (he is a teacher) so he was there to support me for the first few days and then the next week my mother took time off of work to support me.

3-7 weeks postpartum

Suddenly in week 3 my hips started popping in and out of socket all the time. When I laid down, when I rolled over in bed, when I stood up and with every step I took; at the same time my ankles started to give out. This was/ is very frustrating and painful. On a bright note though I started coming up with some great adaptations for taking care of Junior independently (I may share some in an upcoming blog) and my stiches from delivery finally healed up making me at least a little more comfortable.

8 weeks-now

I’ve taken great strides to becoming more independent during this last period. I took Junior to his 2 month pediatrician appointment, my first outing with him alone. It was a bit tricky because there was a massive snow storm the night before and there was lots of ice everywhere. To initially get to my car with Junior, my brother-in-law walked me out to my car and thank goodness he did or I would have fallen on the ice. To get him into the Doctor’s I was able to snap his car seat into a stroller. The support of the sturdy stroller kept me from slipping through the parking lot and I was able get junior ever where he needed to go without fear of dropping him.

 In the last two weeks Junior has been sleeping for longer period of time at night and I’ve started to establish a schedule for him. It is in no way perfect but I am getting more rest now at night and have more freedom during the day due to regular naptimes. With some of this new found freedom I am exercising and that is reducing my hip and ankle problems.

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Being a mother is wonderful, I love it! It is however very troublesome to me to have these mobility issues. Today I tripped for the first time while holding my son. I was able to keep him safe and fairly unjostled by holding him up, securing his neck and digging my elbows into a counter-top on my way down. Although he wasn't badly hurt and was laughing and playing with me less than 5 minutes later it still terrified me.  I know my babies will get hurt (yes I plan on getting pregnant again) but I would hope and pray that no major injury occurs until their bodies are better able to tolerate it. I'm so grateful that I was able to protect my son today despite my physical weaknesses. 

He's Here!

Our little angle came into the world Dec 29, exactly 9 months after receiving full medical approval for pregnancy. He was 6 pounds 10 ounces, perfectly healthy, and incredibly handsome!

Specific to CP

There were no cerebral palsy related complications or “other disability” related complications with labor and delivery, at all.

Adherence to Birth Plan/ Labor Story

                                    

If you remember from my earlier posts I was fairly open ended with my birth plan and had only come to two major determinations, that I would not take Pitocin and that I would have an epidural to reduce spasticity in my lower body. I felt that both of these choices would serve to reduce distress on my baby. What actually happened was fairly interesting.

If you read my last post, you  learned that my OB suggested an induction to help resolve my severe pain and mobility issues. That really got the cogs turning in our heads and “induced” several serious conversations between us. Ultimately we decided that we would try it.

Surprisingly and to my great relief the Pitocin had no apparent negative effect on my labor, however interestingly enough, the epidural did. My blood pressure dropped, my contractions became weak and the baby’s vital signs dropped soon after its insertion. After a few hours of stalled progress with my labor and the nurse constantly repositioning my body to see if it would improve the baby’s heart rate, I had them turn off my epidural. In very little time the baby’s and my vital signs improved and my contractions returned with intensity.

The nurse was fairly surprised at how little time it took to progress from the “3” I had continuously been since entering the hospital to a “10” and she left to call the doctor. Also, at this point I requested my epidural back on to reduce both my potential spasticity and pain at delivery.  When the nurse returned she had me get into position and to try a few “practice pushes” a few pushes later the baby’s head crowned, she told me not to push and ran to call the doctor again. I didn’t time it but after the doctor arrived I’m sure he was out in less than 20 minutes. My beautiful son was in my arms and I was a mother.

The One Complication

Because my little man came out so quickly, some of my internal vaginal blood vessels were torn and I lost a lot of blood. I was completely oblivious to this though (thanks to my epidural) until I noticed that my doctor was stitching me up. I was so elated about becoming a mother her explanation about what had happened didn’t phase me at all, and other pleasant conversation topics followed.

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At this time, it is hard to pinpoint any long term effects of pregnancy on my CP, only time will tell. I can tell you though that I feel fairly back to normal as far as my CP is concerned. Within 2 or 3 days of delivery my mobility was back to normal and the weight related leg and joint pain were gone.

Now that this journey is over and I can look back on all our experience, I’m so glad that my husband and I made the choices that we did. That we moved forward cautiously and carefully but always continued to move forward. It has been a year of miracles for us, and we are so happy.

38 weeks

Yesterday’s appointment went really well. My mom was able to come with me, this is will be her first grandchild—it’s pretty exciting :) I’m 50% effaced now so things are moving forward. I haven’t had a single contraction yet, not even a Braxton Hicks, I wish they would start. I’m very motivated to have our baby.

Specific to CP

There was an interesting suggestion at my appointment yesterday, to become induced for the sake of my legs and joints. As you know, if you’ve read my last few posts, I’ve been experiencing increased pain and mobility issues. My OB has been very respectful of my delivery choices so I know that she isn’t trying to pressure me into doing something that I would feel uncomfortable with. It was just a suggestion to get me on the road to recovery sooner. Matt and I have been very cautious not to seek unnecessary interventions, but I decided to talk to him about it and we decided it was something to consider. My next appointment will be in a week and a half due to the holidays, I’ll be 39.5 weeks. I’m really hoping our little Angel will come on his own before then, so we don't have to face the chioce.

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I’m so excited to become a mother! I don’t want anything more than this. After 10 years of fearing it would be denied me, 2 years of preparing and proving medically that I could do it, and 9 months of pregnancy, it’s about to happen. Finally.

37 weeks

Yesterday was a very gratifying appointment. My physical therapist called my OB with my adductor measurements and now she is very comfortable with me having a vaginal delivery :)  Also the baby is finally in position to be delivered, He has been transverse or sideways every other time he's been checked, I am relieved things are coming together!

As far as my legs go, pain continues to escalate and I am less able to do things independently. I did stand up for the first time today, about 50 minutes ago, after hours of attempts, and was able to make it to the toilet. My legs were incredibly tight though and moving was very painful. I’ve decided to stay down until my husband is home from work, he will be able to loosen my muscles through massage and help me to bathe. It is very difficult for me to lose my independence like this, but it should only be temporary and bringing new life into the world often requires sacrifice.   

36 weeks 4 days

Monday was my 36 week appointment, I’ll be going in weekly now. If things are interesting I will blog after each appointment. For this post there is good news, bad news and good news again. The first bit of good news is that as of my appointment I was dilated to a “one” ooowe :)

Specific to CP

The bad news is though that my adductors (thigh muscles) apparently were tight and my OB was concerned that they would be to tight to allow the baby though. It is true though my legs were tighter that day than usual due to needing to go up and down stairs. She then asked me if I thought an epidural would loosen my muscles—I had no idea. Then we started to discuss having a C-section, not my favorite idea because I would like to be pregnant again before the recommended recovery time of 18-23 months. She wanted my adductors evaluated, so the next day I went into the physical therapy clinic to get everything measured. I avoided stairs prior to the appointment but avoided any other special preparation so the measurement would be accurate. The final good news is that the physical therapist’s report stated that he didn’t think I would have a problem opening my legs. He didn’t have an answer about the epidural but that’s okay, no one seems too.

Those of you that read the post concerning my birth plan know that an epidural isn’t my favorite idea because I am fairly prideful about my pain tolerance. I think I’m tougher than most and could cite dozens of reasons why—it’s a bit of a problem. I think though that I will take the epidural on the off chance that it will loosen my muscles and make birthing easier. Even if it doesn’t loosen muscles it may well help avoid additional constriction of my muscles that might be brought on by the inevitable pain. Since I really want to avoid a C-section I don’t want to have any regrets about what I could have done to (potentially) prevent it.

I should mention before I close this post that I am experiencing considerable pain in my hip, knee, and ankle joints. I feel like I’m ripping them apart every time I need to stand or walk up stairs, and I feel that I am crushing them in unnatural directions when I put weight on them. I hope that these things do not cause permanent damage, but what will be, will be.  I’m not scared at this point of another pregnancy, I definitely want to have at least two children. Like I said before siblinghood is very important to me. I however feel that it is necessary to be as honest as possible in expressing my experience. These last few weeks have been very hard on my body.     

33 weeks-- Pain

This last weekend was a very eventful one. My wonderful sister-in-law and niece threw me a Baby Shower (my room is currently stacked high with gifts) and yesterday was my mother-in-law’s birthday party. It was so wonderful to see and spend time with a number of people on that side of the family. However, regrettably, there were consequences to my activity level…

Specific to CP

I’ve known for the last few weeks that the weight from my pregnancy has been causing an undesirable level of pressure on my knees and ankles. Up until this weekend, though, I was able to avoid focusing on the discomfort that it was giving me.

Last night I went to bed in a moderate amount of pain. I tossed and turned for an hour or so before finally being able to fall asleep. At about 2:45am I woke up in severe lower body muscular-skeletal pain. I desperately needed to go to the bathroom but it took me 30 minutes to get the bathroom, even though it was only a few feet away. Once I was back, I tried to lie down again but the least painful position I could find was sitting on the edge of my bed staring out my window. 

I thought and I thought about the mistakes I had made that weekend. The biggest issue, I think were the stairs I had climbed. I tried to think of a solution for the pain but couldn’t think of one. Tylenol is great for breaking a fever but not for taking away pain—I just have to high a tolerance to pain killers, I’ve gone essentially pain medication free since I was a teenager. In my desperation I thought of waking my husband, but the poor man isn’t getting much sleep any more, he is just too busy.

After about an hour my fruitless solution seeking, I did something I hadn’t done in nearly 16 years, I cried due to Cerebral Palsy pain. Of course I have cried several times in the last 16 years for other types of reasons, but CP pain wasn’t one of them (I'm "tough"). My crying turned in to all out weeping and that woke up my husband. He took me in his arms and somehow even though he didn’t take away the severity of my pain, he was able to push it into the background and we were able to fall back to sleep.

I’ve “hit a wall” so to speak, things are becoming more painful and difficult to accomplish. I’ve always been one to push myself from one task to another, but I think it is time to slow down. My goal was to make it to 36 weeks and then put up my feet and neglect everything except good books for my final weeks. I’m not ready to cast aside all my responsibilities yet but hopefully in the next few days I can have enough of my “affairs in order” to keep off my feet most of the time.

30 weeks

Today’s appointment went well, I don’t have gestational diabetes and all my recent blood work looks great, wahoo :) I received my whooping cough vaccine today and it’s made me feel fairly sick so that is a bit of a downside for today. The baby has been very active for the last several weeks, it’s pretty exciting to watch my tummy bounce around like boiling water. He particularly responds to music, namely piano and harmonica music, so I’m assuming that I have a musician inside of me—given his daddy and that side of the family I wouldn’t be surprised at all, if it turns out to be true.  

Specific to CP

There have been some changes in this area. Number one, I’m back to physical therapy. Why? To appease my father-in-law. Apparently he works for a physical therapy office owned and operated by his brother. So, voila! I have free physical therapy, whether I need it or not. So, nothing to complain about.

But alas, I suddenly might need the therapy—I’ve been pushing myself too hard this last week and I’ve hurt my left hip. It hurts to lay down, it hurts to stand,walk, bend, lift…it hurts pretty much to move. Oh, and sitting to long causes my feet to swell up and hurt. So essentially I’m very uncomfortable. But hey! When I go to my physical therapy appointment tomorrow we will have a project to work on.